Sounds ironic coming from me, right? Those of you who know me, know that I'm afraid of a lot of things-- Spiders, caterpillars, heights, the dark, fireworks... the list goes on. I worry about little things and I think too much about everything. And for the longest times, I let my worries and fears control me.
But not anymore.
A few years ago, God put me on the spot and forced me to conquer one of my fears. And now, it's one of my favorite parts of life. Not too long after that, God took away my greatest comfort, leaving me broken, exposed, angry, and terrified. I was then, and still am, forced to face all my fears without something to hide behind. No excuses, no barriers, no back up plan- just me, facing my greatest fear- that I can't. But from that realization, I found my greatest comfort---
I can't, but God can.
That's when I decided to start facing my fears. No, I didn't go pick up a spider, touch a caterpillar, stand on a roof, turn off all the lights, or set off fireworks. But I did begin seizing opportunities. I stopped avoiding the things that scare me and started doing what I love, despite my fears. I chose to believe the words of Philippians 4:13 and trust the God who knows me, better than I know myself.
You see, to me, being fearless doesn't mean you aren't afraid of anything. It doesn't mean I never worry or that I don't "over think" things. Fearless isn't a trait you are born with, fearless is a choice. Living Fearless is choosing to do what scares you, believing that through God, you can. Loving Fearless is choosing to share your heart, despite the uncertainty. Being fearless is choosing to give up control and finding peace in the mystery. I still struggle with fears and worries. I don't choose to be fearless, all the time. But I want to. And I'm going to.
This summer I am going to Haiti for 10 days. I'm traveling alone to serve and to learn at Children of the Promise in Cap Haitien, Haiti. I am nervous and a little scared to travel out of the country for the first time to a 3rd world country by myself, but I'm also really excited. I may be bad with directions, unable to speak the language, and have no idea what to what to expect, but I know that I'm not alone. I know God will be with me every step of the way, loving me, holding me, helping me, working through me, and teaching me. I'm excited to experience Haiti and COTP, to meet new people, and to see how God is working in Haiti. This is one way I'm choosing to...
Live Fearless. Love Fearless. Be Fearless.
Follow my blog for more updates and information about what I'm learning and where my heart is, on my journey leading up to, during, and after my trip to Haiti.
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